15 Life-Changing Perspectives on Marriage

“If you want to change the world, go home and love your family.” – Mother Teresa

My hubby and I just celebrated 6 years as a married couple… time flies when you’re having fun! 😉

Over the years I’ve learned perspectives that have changed not only my marriage for the better, but my life.  I wanted to share the best of what I’ve learned so far, to help you on your journey.

  1. Marriage, and my spouse, is a gift from God! Treasure it and treat them as such.
    • (Card written by my friend Marissa Ruper… loved the shift in perspective from what culture tells us!)
  2. Marriage is not 50/50 give and take, it’s 100/100 giving. Always think of ways I can give more to bless the one I love and I’ll worry much less about what my spouse is giving.
    • (Pre-marital counseling with Mark Randall from Cru.)
  3. When I entered into marriage, I decided I would forgive and let go of 7 things my spouse does that I don’t like. I don’t remember what those 7 are, so when my spouse annoys me in some way, I figure it must be one of the 7 to forgive.
    • (Passed on from my friend Valerie Lind.)
  4. When I feel like he’s not being good enough for me, I think of the ways I’m not good enough for him. We both need grace.
    • (Straight from the Lord!)
  5. Having a good relationship is more important than being right.
    • (Ministry school.)
  6. We are on the same team. Fight like it.
    • (Marriage conference.)
  7. Don’t try to change my spouse. Love my spouse as is.
    • (Marriage conference.)
  8. Unmet expectations are the cause of most conflicts. Often these expectations go unexpressed. Express the important ones respectfully, and change the less important ones.
    • (Social work school and counseling.)
  9. Always speak highly of my spouse to others. This shows love and respect.
    • (Becky Arcadi in Cru.)
  10. God and my spouse comes before every other person and tasks. My time, talents, and treasures should reflect this.
    • (Marriage conference.)
  11. We are now one.  Every decision affects the other person. 
    • (Marriage conference.)
  12. There is safety in the covenant of marriage that exceeds all other relationships.  When we’ve confessed before God that our marriage is for life, our trust and unity will increase and we’ll work through challenges together as one. 
    • (Marriage conference and Amanda & Yvonne Gibson.)
  13. Value the differences in my spouse.  God designed them on purpose to refine me and to make us a powerful team that shares God’s love with the world.  The sum is greater than its parts. 
    • (Fellowship Church.)
  14. Love is not a feeling, it’s an interaction.  Love is patient and kind. Love does not envy or boast.  Love is not proud, rude, or self-seeking. Love is not easily angered and doesn’t keep track of wrongs done. Love finds joy in truth, rather than evil things. Love always protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres. Love never fails.
    • (Scripture.)
  15. We have God. If we seek first the Kingdom of God, all else will be taken care of.
    • (Grandma and Scripture.)